works made by L.G aka Vin Andler

I try to become private on the web, thought this little about me section is going to be like a little view on me without the feeling of shame. Let me talk about myself for a bit then - if You let me.

Hello! My online name is Vin Andler, in some places I go by Romana as well (it's more of a personal nickname though, shouldn't be used by a stranger). Both of these aren't my real names, although my real name is said to mean shining light or endearment. I was born and raised in north Mazovia, only now is the time when I no longer live there, though my heart always aches when I think about it. It's like an instinct for me to know when I finally cross the border of my beloved home and then I can finally feel the tension in my body and psyche disappear.

As said in my little about me widget, I am an artist, painter, writer, aesthetician, sewist, design student. And that's right - I can be described as almost all types of the creative jobs possible. I also see myself as a philosopher - the philosopher of life, my own being, afterlife, spirituality, sociology, psychology, very weird sudden realizations that some hear me say out loud suddenly. I am created by the pieces of my wandering mind, searching for speaking up with my voice somewhere. I tend to have a really uncommon sense of likeness, of feelings. Some emotions and experiences had built me to never be able to voice my feelings by words - I became absent in them. No matter how hard I try I never am able to say how I feel.

Words don't voice my feelings, but images can. Stories too. And the little abstract backgrounds that I do. I never have much symbolism behind most pieces that I do - it's because I don't know them yet. I pour the unknown feelings into the canvas and don't except me to know what the art means - unless I have already identified my feelings. Poses and little expressions tell things that are unexplainable with words. The art and history that I make is way ahead of my own awareness - it teaches me what I went through, makes me realize certain copying mechanisms that I have. I unconsciously create things that make me aware of who I am and what shaped me. This is why my characters are important to me - they work as a shadow work.

It's true that I have created them long time ago and I unconsciously gave them stories that were in fact uncovering my life - not always in a direct way (so don't dig up these stories and think that my parents are divorced or something like that. My beloved parents are still together lol). There are connections and the psychoanalysis that never made me realize that were just the psychoanalysis of me myself, I was uncovering the reasons of my behaviors without even realizing it... It helped me came to some of the most painful conclusions about my past. It opened my eyes.

This is not a page about my ocs - but still I am not Vin Andler, without Itimeir, Irmes, Katamenos and Paris. These are my identities, something that aches me when I am deprived of. It's one of the sources of my happiness, my safe space, my identity. Therefore I need to talk about this too. This is what I am made of.

Itimeir is my ... Mascot? He's my "inner shell" - I draw him when I feel certain, inner emotions, not only because he's easy and such a pleasure to draw, but also because there is something about him that takes up my feelings and makes me feel as unknown as he is. As soon as I finally understand his whole character, I will understand myself.

Irmes is my "outer shell", I pour some of my most extreme emotions into him, take out my anger on everything while hidden in his character. While Itimeir covers the past of me that is unknown and troubling to understand for me, Irmes is part of my healing process, something that I have already understood and somewhat processed - not meaning that I had accepted.

Part of my philosophy is coming back to the nature, but instead of wandering around forests and such, I find myself drawn to traditions and roots of humanity. I can sometimes tear up when thinking about the humanity of the ceramic makes (there is something so human in the little imperfections, the reality of the fact that it was made by a human from scratch so that a plate or bowl was there to help the human in basic needs, supporting us. It is one of the feelings that I am unable to comprehend and much more - tell. You just need to understand it.), natural fibers, natural sugarless foods, long robes and ancient like styles. Handmading everything around us - clothes, furniture, the dishes, candles, food, sometimes even beauty products. As if it was how we were supposed to live, as just some silly humans without any worry in the world. No makeup (except of accents like lips and a small brush of rosy blush on temples and eye corners) ... I wanna fall in love with myself and features that were meant to be mine. To be a natural beauty, You need to stop wearing makeup and the beauty will be seen. All of that organic and natural yapping is either me copying with the denial of the actual state of the planet or actually slowly going insane from my catastrophical anxiety disorder - You choose.

It's true that I think that Internet was one of the worst inventions made in latest decades, even though I cannot stress enough about the fact that I am very thankful for most of the sources that are given to us on the web, I really believe that everything could be okay if the time stopped in like... 2012 - 2014.

"Virgin Suicides" by Jeffrey Eugenides is a book that forever changed me and finally felt like someone had ever understood me. If I was to say what book me and my artistic work are - this is the answer.

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